Emotions Aren't Facts: A Guide to Understanding Anxiety

Anxiety is a normal part of life. It's that feeling of being worried, fearful, and nervous about what might happen in the future. It can feel like a constant weight on your shoulders. Some ways that anxiety shows up can be tightness in your chest, a pit in your stomach, or a racing heart. It's important to remember that anxiety is not inherently bad. It was designed to keep us safe. 

Think back to our ancestors: Anxiety kicked in when they were out hunting and heard a rustle in the bushes, alerting them to potential danger. This response—often referred to as "fight, flight, freeze, or fawn"—was crucial for survival. It kept them safe from predators and other threats.

Today, though, our threats are different. We face things like giving a presentation at work, feeling overwhelmed by busy schedules, or a big test coming up. While those are important and can be stressful, they are not life-or-death dangers. Anxiety becomes a problem when those feelings linger and don't seem to fade away. For some, it can interfere with daily life, making concentrating, enjoying activities, or connecting with others hard. 

Sometimes, our response to anxiety can inadvertently make it worse. Rather than easing our fears, our reactions can encourage the feelings we're trying to escape. In this post, we're going to explore the cycle of anxiety. Understanding the cycle of anxiety allows you to choose healthier coping skills.

The Cycle of Anxiety

What is the cycle of anxiety?

The anxiety cycle has six stages that create a loop of fear and worry. It starts with a triggering event, leading to physical symptoms like a racing heart, then escalates to anxious thoughts and avoidance behaviors. These behaviors reinforce the cycle, making it hard to confront anxiety sources. However, with awareness and coping strategies, breaking free is possible.

Trigger

A trigger is defined as an event, situation, or even a thought that sparks feelings of anxiety or distress. For many, triggers are related to high standards and pressure to live up to those expectations. For example, receiving criticism at work—even if it's constructive—can stir up a fear of failure and lead to a path of self-doubt. Similarly, a friend's need for help might trigger feelings of obligation that overshadow personal needs. The thought of letting someone down can be devastating, leading individuals to prioritize the needs of others over their own well-being. 

Thoughts

Triggers set off a flood of anxious thoughts, often called thinking traps. Thinking traps are patterns of untrue and unhelpful thoughts that can significantly amplify feelings of anxiety, stress, and poor self-image. These traps often cause individuals to perceive situations in a negative light, which can reinforce feelings of helplessness or inadequacy. 

For example, suppose a student feels anxious about speaking up in class. They might think, "I feel anxious about answering this question, so it must mean I shouldn't do it." This thought amplifies the anxiety and discourages them from sharing their ideas. Similarly, the belief that "I should always be available to help my friends" can lead to overwhelming feelings of obligation and burnout, making it hard to prioritize one's needs. Then there's the fear-based thought, "If I mess up this project, I'll lose my job and never find another one," which catastrophizes a potential imperfection and causes mental paralysis.

These thinking traps are not just isolated thoughts; they create a cycle of negativity that can be hard to break. Recognizing these patterns is an important step toward understanding how they contribute to anxiety and finding healthier, more balanced ways of thinking.

Feelings

Next comes feelings that are difficult to manage. When faced with anxiety, individuals may experience a deep sense of shame, guilt, or worry, making even everyday situations feel overwhelming. A non-threatening task like speaking in a meeting can trigger a wave of panic. The feeling of anxiety is genuine, but it doesn't mean you will actually fail. 

Feelings are valid, but they are not facts. Emotions aren't inherently good or bad; they're simply part of being human. They carry important messages about what we're experiencing and how we're responding to our lives. For instance, feeling overwhelmed indicates you need a break or extra support. 

What truly matters is how we choose to act on those emotions. It is the way we respond to emotions that can lead to positive or negative outcomes. Instead of labeling emotions as "bad" or trying to push them away, we can lean into them, understand their messages, and choose how we want to respond. 

Physical Symptoms

When we experience anxiety, it doesn't just stay in our minds, it manifests in our bodies. Physical symptoms of anxiety can be muscle tension, sweating, or a racing heart. Imagine you're giving a presentation; your palms may get sweaty, your legs may be shaky, and your heart starts pounding. This natural response to stress is known as the "fight or flight response. 

The connections between our thoughts and physical symptoms are powerful. When our brain perceives a threat or challenge —like speaking up in a meeting or having a difficult conversation—our bodies react as if we are in danger. Anxious thoughts and feelings initiate a surge of adrenaline, causing physical symptoms.

Physical symptoms are not random. They are a response to our thoughts and feelings. When we recognize this connection, we can begin to address both our thoughts and physical reactions. 

Behaviors

Our brain's ultimate goal is to protect us by any means necessary. When our brain recognizes our body is experiencing strong emotions and strong physical reactions—like racing thoughts or increased heart rate—it jumps into action and begins to create a plan to get back to a safe place. 

If you're feeling anxious about a presentation, your brain is figuring out ways to avoid that presentation. You might procrastinate, call in sick, or spend excessive time preparing to avoid criticism. These behaviors all avoid the fundamental issue of being anxious. Instead of confronting the source of your fear, these avoidance tactics feed the cycle of stress and discomfort. Understanding how your brain works can empower you to face challenges head-on rather than trying to evade them, ultimately helping you build resilience and confidence.

Reinforcement of the Cycle

After avoiding the feelings of anxiety, the brain is giving itself a pat on the back, saying,  "Mission accomplished!" You have successfully avoided the feeling of anxiety and maybe even the trigger itself. At this point, you get short-term relief, believing the scary part is over. But this relief is often fleeting. In the long run, the anxiety surrounding that trigger has grown bigger and more intense. 

Instead of diminishing the anxiety, avoidance behaviors can actually inadvertently inflate it, creating a larger barrier to facing the situation head-on. Understanding this cycle is key to breaking free from it, allowing you to find healthier ways to manage anxiety and reclaim your sense of control.

Understanding anxiety as a normal part of life helps us recognize that it's not something to be ashamed of but rather a natural response to our environment. By examining the cycle of anxiety—triggers, thoughts, feelings, physical symptoms, and behaviors—we can begin to see how these elements interact and reinforce one another. Acknowledging that our responses to anxiety can sometimes exacerbate the issue is crucial. This awareness empowers us to break the cycle and explore healthier coping strategies. Ultimately, the goal is to cultivate resilience, find support in our communities, and learn to face our fears with confidence. With awareness and intention, we can transform our relationship with anxiety from one of avoidance to one of understanding and empowerment